Fun Fact!
t.u.m.b.l.r. actually stands for the types of posts you can use!(:
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Phouto
M‘Quote
Libnk
Chalt
Aurdio
(Video.)
on this weeks episode of “things i dont remember saving to my computer”
You don’t have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off. And while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the baby’s soft cartilage head into something a little more modern. It might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where the dog is going with this.
this is still one of the best posts on this whole website
you know what sucks?
art
who even thought of art
more like fart
Vincent Van Go Get A Real Job You Dirty Hippie
Michelle is at least 50% of this blog
if you think our economy is bad just be thankful you dont live in neopia
holy shit
i thought inflation was bad when I was there
it’s like postwar germany
take your wheelbarrow of neopoints to the market to buy a loaf of bread
you’re right neopets is exactly like postwar germany
there is absolutely no difference between neopets and postwar germany
(Source: squiddlebitch)
we had to rewrite shrek as a psychological thriller
Act 1 – The Set Up
Summary: Shrek is a quiet ogre living alone in a shack in a swamp. Prince Farquaad of Far Far Away, banishes the fairy tale characters to the swamp, interrupting Shrek’s peace. As Shrek finds his anger reach boiling point, Donkey appears- a complete opposite of his own personality. Donkey encourages Shrek to set out on a journey to clear his swamp of the unwanted inhabitants.
Plot Point: Shrek meets Donkey for the first time; he eerily appears out of nowhere.
Act 2 – The Confrontation
First Half Summary: Shrek meets the king, who seems confused about Shrek’s accusation, but sets him on the quest to rescue a princess in return for clearing his swamp, which Shrek normally wouldn’t do except Donkey encourages him yet again. They eventually reach the castle where the princess is kept. The princess is afraid at first, but Donkey says something funny and she is suddenly complacent and never speaks.
Midpoint: Shrek returns the princess, noticing strange things around him; crows and wolves are following him, he’s getting strange looks from passersby; chalks it up to being an ogre.
Second Half Summary: He begins to bond with the princess, despite her being mute. He eventually presents the princess to Prince Farquaad, but the Prince is disgusted by her, and tells Shrek that he is evil and disgusting and to leave. He decides to take the princess back with him to the swamp, and sort out kicking the fairy tale creatures out himself.
Plot Point 2: Shrek returns and discovers everyone is gone; they were never there to begin with.
Act 3 – The Resolution
Summary: Donkey starts explaining that everyone has layers, like onions, and that he is the innermost core of Shrek’s psyche; Shrek has been driven insane from living alone. He realizes Farquaad was just using him to retrieve a princess, and he turns to see Fiona is in reality a corpse; Shrek had killed her as ‘Donkey.’ He has flashbacks of points in his journey where he realizes the truth of his actions. The end sees Shrek sitting alone with a dead Fiona and Donkey singing.
i remembered this again
jesus i’d forgotten
What do you think the story is behind the guy who discovered that peeing on jellyfish stings helps them heal?
First of all, how many other ailments did he try that remedy for? Do you think he tried it at home? Like for little stuff? Do you think it ruined his relationship with his family? Like his son burns his hand making Tostino’s pizza rolls for himself and his soccer team after they win the big game and in front of everyone, he pulls down his pants yelling, “now Jason JUST LET ME TRY THIS! WE DON’T KNOW! IT COULD WORK!”
Do you think he was a doctor? Tremendously talented yet much hated by all his constituents? Every time a new patient enters the hospital you can see him lurking around the outskirts of the OR, raising his hand tentatively and bobbing up and down until finally one of the other doctors’ concentration is so tested that he angrily yells “WHAT?” and the guy pointedly motions to his groin area and raises his eyebrows poignantly.
Until finally, one day, the chief of medicine gives him a warning - if he suggests pissing on the patient one more time, he’ll never work in medicine again.
The next day a patient comes in with jellyfish stings all over her legs. Not a huge deal, the hospital is right by the beach and they’re plagued with jellyfish related incidents all the time - it’s time consuming and resource wasting - and as he’s on thin ice, the grunt work gets shunted off onto him. He’s alone with her in the room - she passes out from the pain and he knows he’s got one shot - one chance to grab everything he’s ever wanted, and he won’t let it slip. He whips his scrubs off, does the deed, and she’s instantly relieved. She opens her eyes and whispers, “thank you.” He knows he’s done it.
He pushes all the emergency buttons, calls every member of personnel into the room and announces he has finally found a relief for jellyfish stings. “What is it?” asks an intern. He smiles knowingly. The entire room groans. Several people leave in protest.
On his cheek shines a single glistening tear.
“There’ll be no living with him after this,” whispers the chief of medicine.
think about a horse but with guns taped to his hooves that went off whenever he stepped down
and he had like a bandoleer of ammo around him
just running across a field
fucking massacring people
You don’t have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off. And while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the baby’s soft cartilage head into something a little more modern. It might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where the dog is going with this.
when was the last time i posted on this blog?
